He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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