we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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