I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
this will be a night to untag.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
