For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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