I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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