a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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