oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
