Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
