i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
