am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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