That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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