did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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