D3 body, D1 cock
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
