normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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