So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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