i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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