the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Randomize
