I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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