I'm lost and stupid without you.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
