You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
