if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Come see our sink grown plant.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
