remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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