He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Randomize
