My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize