Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize