his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
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if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
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I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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