Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
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My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
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And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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