Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i don't like sucking hair
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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