I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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