you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
