Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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