How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
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After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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