I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
