Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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