She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
