You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
