I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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