dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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