Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
