Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You were trust falling into bushes
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
