Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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