Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
