I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
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She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
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You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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