You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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