I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
