found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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