and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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