Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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