We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
