Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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