think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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