THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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