i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize