And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize