I didn't shave. On purpose
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
