found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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