Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
