my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
