Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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