So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
