He uses pillows to masturbate.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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