who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
