I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
